I am so pissed off.

Before anyone freaks, it’s not about any of you. I’m sorry for venting about you guys in the past when I should’ve talked. We’re cool? Cool. 

…So I had this friend since the 8th grade. She was my 1st best friend, and really? I haven’t had a true best friend to talk about everything with since she left for NY in the 10th grade (This was 4-5 years ago). So I tried to stay in contact, but she kept making excuses to not talk to me because her parents never liked me. To top it off, we hung out so much (You know: Like normal besties!) that her parents decided to have a vendetta against me even though I’d offer to help them clean whenever I was around the house, would pick up after myself, ect, ect. 

…So all these years, she talks on and off at me on tumblr, not giving me real conversation. …And honestly, this was the first and only girl I really crushed on. Not that it matters. I’m in a good relationship now, but anyway, she comes back to me to talk about her issues with her parents….when she’s my age and won’t fight for what she feels is right? I’m sorry, but if I were in her shoes, I’d put my foot down! I understand that she’s weak, but she feels alone and wonders why. And it really hurts my feelings, because she shut me out of her life. 

Few times I’ve seen ya round the dash
but I ain’t gonna just follow you back
Cause I ain’t no follow back gurlll
I ain’t no follow back gurl

Stephen is really a great friend. that bitch who was mean to me last group project totally ditched my ass! And this project/debate is to be presented on Thursday! It’s a pain in the ass to deal with bitches like her. 

…Wow, I really hate everyone, oops. 

Yeah dude? I didn’t need to hear about your sexual shit…. No one needs to hear about how you fucked 4 girls in 4 days and just…got rugburn where the sun don’t shine?

I hate my old schoolmates…. Why do I bother keeping in contact with these losers?

I’m worried that I shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place. I’m scared because, while he tries so hard for me, we’re so far away from each other. Like, if we started in an LDR in the beginning, maybe it would be fine, but I’m scared that we might be drifting away. We barely even talk online really. Which is understandable b/c work and school, but…

Then I wonder “Will he drift away from me like everyone else I date? Will I drift away?” My biggest problem is that I’ll love someone so much, but when we’re away for so long, I start to wonder if those feelings I have for a person are genuine. 

And I have every reason to feel this way. While he is 100% faithful to me, I’ve been in a relationship that ended up like this distance wise…where the guy started fucking a bunch of other girls as soon as he took my virginity. He tried to slut shame me. To add to it all, he threatened to sleep with other people if I didn’t send him specific…photos of myself. Which I didn’t, but *sigh*

…Relationships are fucking confusing.